Trick or Treat, Smell My Feet (live version)

from by Monty Harper

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From the Great Green Squishy Mean Concert CD.

lyrics

It was very late one Halloween night,
after all the trick-or-treaters were sound asleep.
I thought I heard a knock on my front door,
so I snuggled down deeper into my sheets.

The knock kept knocking, louder and louder.
Finally it knocked me wide awake.
I tumbled downstairs to see what was the matter,
yelled, "What do you want, for goodness sake?" and heard,

"Trick or treat, smell my feet.
Give me something good to eat.
If you don't, I won't be sad.
I'll just make you wish you had!"

It was a tiny old troll with a long white beard,
a pointy red hat, and a crooked grin.
I said, "Listen kid, that's a really cute costume,
but I ran out of candy at half-past ten."

I slammed the door and I locked all the latches,
took two aspirin for my aching head,
went back to my room and was startled to discover
that rude little troll sitting on my bed! He said,

"Trick or treat, smell my feet.
Give me something good to eat.
If you don't, I won't be sad.
I'll just make you wish you had!"

I decided to find out who was in the costume.
I pinned him down and yanked his beard.
The troll cried "Ouch!" and ran into the corner.
He hopped three times and disappeared.

I woke the next morning, happily believing
that the funny little troll was only a dream.
I turned on the TV, and guess who I saw singing
in his pointy red hat on channel three? He sang,

"Trick or treat, smell my feet.
Give me something good to eat.
If you don't, I won't be sad.
I'll just make you wish you had!"

I flipped around through all the different channels.
Every single one was Troll TV.
I pulled the plug, but that was only the beginning.
All week long the troll pestered me.

He kept popping up in the least likely places.
Twenty three times I chased him away.
His crooked little grin was driving me crazy,
and by now you know all he had to say was

"Trick or treat, smell my feet.
Give me something good to eat.
If you don't, I won't be sad.
I'll just make you wish you had!"

Finally I did the only thing that I could think of.
I bought a half-pound bag of sweets.
That day the troll was hiding in the bathtub
when I found him and I gave him his trick-or-treat.

He tucked the candy underneath his hat,
then he hopped three times and he disappeared.
And though he never did come back,
I still dream about the troll with the long white beard!

"Trick or treat, smell my feet.
Give me something good to eat.
If you don't, I won't be sad.
I'll just make you wish you had!"

credits

from Halloween Madness (EP), released September 11, 2012

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about

Monty Harper Stillwater, Oklahoma

Monty Harper is a children's musician in Stillwater, OK. He performs for elementary schools and libraries, helps kids write their own songs in workshops and residencies, does informal science education, and writes songs for clients.

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