Paws Claws Scales & Tales

by Monty Harper

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"Harper crafts songs for kids that are both witty and fun; imagine a kind of children's music Loudon Wainwright III, making a pet-themed album and you begin to get an idea of his songwriting skills." - Parents' Choice Recommended

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released January 1, 2006

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all rights reserved

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about

Monty Harper Stillwater, Oklahoma

Monty Harper is a children's musician in Stillwater, OK. He performs for elementary schools and libraries, helps kids write their own songs in workshops and residencies, does informal science education, and writes songs for clients.

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Track Name: Paws Claws Scales And Tales
Paws, claws, scales, and tails!
Dig into a new adventure with beastly action.
Paws, claws, scales, and tails!
Get a book about a hero with animal attraction.
Your library never fails
To bring you paws, claws, scales, and incredible tales!

Check out a story about a man in a yellow hat
And the funny friendship he begins to forge
With a little monkey making all kinds of mischief.
Check out a book about Curious George!

How 'bout a book about the house on East 88th.
The Primms move in to find a crocodile.
He's highly entertaining and he helps with household chores.
Check out a book about a pet named Lyle!

Paws, claws, scales, and tails!
Dig into a new adventure with beastly action.
Paws, claws, scales, and tails!
Get a book about a hero with animal attraction.
Your library never fails
To bring you paws, claws, scales, and incredible tales!

Check out this story about the Marquis of Carabas.
He and his talking cat are in cahoots.
He starts with nothing but the cat brings him love, land, and gold.
Check out this story about Puss in Boots!

How 'bout a book about a girl and her big red dog.
He's a super pet, but there's one way he's always differed.
Emily Elizabeth's dog is bigger than her house.
Check out a book about a dog named Clifford!

A story told about a pet
Is not so easy to forget.
It's all about a bond of love!

Paws, claws, scales, and tails!
Dig into a new adventure with beastly action.
Paws, claws, scales, and tails!
Get a book about a hero with animal attraction.
Your library never fails
To bring you paws, claws, scales, and incredible tales!
Track Name: The Day I Took My Dragon For a Walk
It was a ordinary day when I went out with my new pet.
I was looking for a howdy from the people that we met.
But my buddies ran away; you should've seen 'em move their tushes.
Mrs. Goggins didn't greet us she just dove into the bushes.
Her two poodles tried to bite us. Billy Dugan threw a rock
The day I took my dragon for a walk.

I took my dragon for a walk so he could do the dragon things
Like flex his claws and preen his scales and stretch his little wings.
I took my dragon for a walk for all the neighborhood to meet,
But it's tough to meet your neighbor when he's fleeing down the street.

My dragon must have figured we were playing hide and seek.
He broke the Jensens' window leaning in to get a peek.
Then he tilted up their roof, sniffed and sneezed a fiery sneeze.
His tail flipped up a mini van, which landed in the trees.
We left piles of burning rubble scattered up and down the block
The day I took my dragon for a walk.

I took my dragon for a walk so he could do the dragon things
Like flex his claws and preen his scales and stretch his little wings.
I took my dragon for a walk; a little knock around the town.
How was I to know that he would mostly knock it down?

As the dust began to settle and more car alarms awoke
I climbed aboard my dragon and we flew off through the smoke.
Now he's sulking in his cavern in the dark deserted hills,
And I'm trying to convince him he should learn more social skills.
You'd think he was a monster, from the way the people talk
About the day I took my dragon for a walk!

I took my dragon for a walk so he could do the dragon things
Like flex his claws and preen his scales and stretch his little wings.
I took my dragon for a walk. It did not go over well!
But maybe he'll do better at my school for show and tell!

'Til then I'll watch that clumsy dragon like a hawk,
Although my brother says my dragon is a crock
And that I ought to see a certain kind of doc.
The clean up crews are working round the clock,
And the kids all crowd the yellow tape and gawk,
Drawing dragons on the pavement with their chalk.
Billy Dugan still appears to be in shock,
And Mrs. Goggins cannot find Fifi or Jacque
Since the day I took my dragon for a walk!
Track Name: A Pet Like That
Well, my mom brought home this hamster
That her friend unloaded cheap,
And she said since I'm the oldest
It could be my own to keep,
But I told her, "No thanks," cause I read this book
Where a guy had a talking cat.
Wouldn't it be cool to own a pet like that!

Mr. Popper marches penguins.
Jimmy's boa has a winning smile.
Joshua Primm on East 88th
Has a crocodile named Lyle.
Jeremy Thatcher, dragon hatcher,
Hatched a dragon named Tiamat.
Wouldn't it be cool to own a pet like that!

Unusual pets are running loose
Through the pages of this book by Dr. Seuss.
Here's a seven hump Wump! Could be just the thing!
Or a tiny hopping Yop or a singing Ying!
I could even dream a pet of my own design,
Like a porcupooch or a rhinopine
Or a triple-headed, chocolate-seeking, vampire bat!
Wouldn't it be cool to own a pet like that!

Now my sister owns the hamster,
And she named him Polkadot,
And his fur feels warm and friendly,
And we play with him a lot,
And he makes us laugh stuffing sunflower seeds
In his cheeks till his face turns fat!
It's truly cool to own a pet like that!
Track Name: Villa Villekulla Hula
I know a girl, just nine years old.
She sailed back home from sea with a case full of gold,
And where she goes she knows her monkey will go.
See Mr. Nilsson tip his hat, "Hello!"

She spent a coin to buy a horse.
She always parks the horse on her porch of course,
And when she makes to take a spin into town,
She picks him up and lifts him down
.
I wish I could be like Pippi Longstocking!
She's always entertaining and rarely stops talking!
I love to sit and listen to her latest invention
On the Villa Villekulla parlor floor!

Pippi, tell about your father, the cannibal king.
Captain of the Hoptoad, he comes in the spring
And sails you to the island of Kurrekurredutt.
You breakfast there on breadfruit and milk of cocoanut.
At night the Kurrekurredutts dance around the fire.
I can close my eyes and see them hopping higher and higher.
Pippi, keep me in your trance and as the cannibals dance,
I'll do the Villa Villekulla Hula, too!

I know a girl, lives on her own,
But with her horse and monkey she's never alone,
Cause when she whistles a song those two sway along.
They do the Villa Villekulla Hula, too!

I wish I could be like Pippi Longstocking!
I'd stay up after midnight, stomping and rocking!
I'd never miss a chance to do a cannibal dance!
I'd do the Villa Villekulla Hula, too!

And if you want to groove the groove the Kurrekurredutts do,
You'll do the VillaVillekulla Hula too!
Track Name: Dog Books
My parents won't let me get the pet I want,
So I thought up a plan to help them change their minds.
I've been hitting the catalog hard,
Using and abusing my library card,
Digging up piles of books of a certain kind!

Nothing but dog books in my backpack
Nothing but dog books on my shelf
Books where the dog is the kid's best friend
Books where the kid gets the dog in the end
Dog books for my parents to read to me
Nothing but D-O-G

I began my plan with Pinkerton, Behave!
Then we read about Walter floating up to the sky.
We solved a case with Nate the Great and Sludge.
We shared an adventure with Henry and Mudge.
We'll be laughing at Hank the Cowdog through July!

Nothing but dog books in my backpack
Nothing but dog books on my shelf
Books where the dog is the kid's best friend
Books where the kid gets the dog in the end
Dog books for my parents to read to me
Nothing but D-O-G

Now I know I'm onto something when my mom sobs up a storm
as The Preacher calls Winn Dixie in the rain,
And I know I'm making progress when Old Yeller fights that wolf,
and my dad lets loose a tear he can't contain!

Nothing but dog books in my backpack
Nothing but dog books on my shelf
Books where the dog is the kid's best friend
Books where the kid gets the dog in the end
Dog books for my parents to read to me
Nothing but D-O-G

L: One Hundred and One Dalmations, Officer Buckle and Gloria,
Clifford Saves the Day, Walter the Farting Dog, Martha Speaks,
Surfer Dog, Shiloh, Saving Shiloh, Ginger Pye, Sounder, A Dog
Called Kitty

R: Balto, Lassie Come Home, Harry Cat's Pet Puppy, The Incredible
Journey, Shiloh Season, Strider, Jim Ugly, My Dog My Hero,
Where the Red Fern Grows
Track Name: Hummingbird Hum
Oh, Hummingbird! Oh, Hummingbird!
Please come and hum for me!

Hummingbird hum
Hummingbird hum
Hummingbird hum
Hummingbird hum

Humming along since you have no words
Bright little jewel of the backyard birds
Dressed in irridescent red and green
Like a splash of paint on a summer scene

Hummingbird hum (hummingbird hum)
Hummingbird hum (hummingbird hum)
Hummingbird hum (hummingbird hum)
Hummingbird hum (hummingbird hum)

You spy a wasp in your zinnia patch
And it's Hummer versus Stinger in a quiddich match
Your dodge and dive chase really tears up the air
All because you do not like to share

Hummingbird hum (hummingbird hum)
Hummingbird hum (hummingbird hum)
Hummingbird hum (hummingbird hum)
Hummingbird hum (hummingbird hum)

My new day is never ready to start
Not until I've watched you hover and dart
Humming along since you have no words
Bright little jewel of the backyard birds

Hummingbird hum (hummingbird hum)
Hummingbird hum (hummingbird hum)
Hummingbird hum (hummingbird hum)
Hummingbird hum (hummingbird hum)
Track Name: It's Hard to Love a Reptile
The day when we learned the aquarium burned
My sister went there to inquire,
Could she answer the need to help shelter and feed
A few creatures they'd saved from the fire.
Dad was happy to take in a fish or a snake
Knowing homes would be found for them later.
But none of us thought she'd bring home what she brought -
A three hundred pound alligator!

It's hard to love a reptile
When you know that she don't love you back;
When your gazes connect and you start to suspect
She's been thinking of you - as a snack!
And you can't cuddle up much cause being in her clutch
You'd fear she may tear you apart.
It's so hard to love a reptile
With dry scaly skin, a wide toothy grin,
And a three-chambered, cold-blooded heart!

They'd named her Lucinda cause she was luesistic,
Which colored her skin ghostly white.
And the scales on her tail rubbed the sides of the bathtub
Which kept me awake late at night.
I glimpsed my demise in her steely teal eyes
When she'd turn 'em to stare my direction.
"Don't you worry," said Sis. "There is nothing amiss.
She's just hungry for your sweet affection!"

It's hard to love a reptile
When you know that she don't love you back;
When your gazes connect and you start to suspect
She's been thinking of you - as a snack!
And you can't cuddle up much cause being in her clutch
You'd fear she may tear you apart.
It's so hard to love a reptile
With dry scaly skin, a wide toothy grin,
And a three-chambered, cold-blooded heart!

She ate like the dickens and swallowed whole chickens
Without ever needing to chew.
I was mighty relieved by the call we received
When they'd found her a home at the zoo.
As I said to Lucinda, "Goodbye greedy friend,"
A new feeling crept up from down deeper.
I surprised even me when a tear trickled free
And I blubbered out, "Why can't we keep her?"

It's hard to love a reptile
When you know that she don't love you back;
When your gazes connect and you start to suspect
She's been thinking of you - as a snack!
And you can't cuddle up much cause being in her clutch
You'd fear she may tear you apart.
It's so hard to love a reptile
With dry scaly skin, a wide toothy grin,
And a three-chambered, cold-blooded heart!
Track Name: Eleanor Gerbil
Ooo, look at all that chewed-up cardboard!
Ooo, what to do with all that cardboard!

Eleanor Gerbil,
Gnawing away at the edge of another page;
Alone in her cage.
Look at her working,
Moving her castles of paper from here to there
Why does she care?

Gerbil, gerbil, rearrange.
Make everything just so.
What she thinks she's going to change,
Only she can know.

Bobby McDoogle,
Slumped in a chair after school staring at TV;
What does he see?
Someone distracts him.
A rodent in motion has broken his cartoon trance.
Look at her dance!

Gerbil, gerbil, rearrange.
Make everything just so.
What she thinks she's going to change,
Only she can know.

Ooo, look at all that chewed-up cardboard!
Ooo, what to do with all that cardboard!

Eleanor Gerbil,
Poking her nose through a hole in her plastic cell;
What does she smell?
Bobby McDoogle,
Standing and stepping away from the TV set;
Greeting his pet.

Gerbil, gerbil, rearrange.
Make everything just so.
What she thinks she's going to change,
She and Bobby know!
Track Name: Fred's Frog Flippy
Fred's frog, Flippy is sitting on his rock
Looking like he just might jump.
Come on, Flippy, jump now.
Come on, Flippy, jump now.
Would it help to give your tank a little bump?

Fred says,
"A watched pot never boils, you know.
Watched popcorn never pops.
If you're watching an okapi, she will not stick out her tongue,
And a watched frog never hops!"

Fred's Frog Flippy is sitting in the water
Looking back up at the rock where he was.
You made me miss him jump, Fred!
Ooo, he's gonna jump again, Fred!
This time I'm wanna see it when he does.

Fred says,
"A watched pot never boils, you know.
Watched popcorn never pops.
If you're watching an okapi, she will not stick out her tongue,
And a watched frog never hops!"

We stared at Flippy 'til our eyes grew old.
We got bored so we just now stopped.
Fred is opening up the tank now.
Fred is lifting Flippy out now.
Wait, Flippy, no! He hopped!
Track Name: The Cat Came Back
Poor Mr. Johnson had trouble more and more
With a stray yellow cat meowing at the door.
His allergy implored him to make her disappear
So he kindly tossed her out upon her ear.

But the cat came back the very next day.
The cat came back. We thought she was a goner
But the cat came back. She would not stay away.

Mr. Johnson placed an open can of tuna on the track.
The kitty sat there eating and forgot to watch her back.
A mighty locomotive came chugging round the bend.
Mr. Johnson thought he saw his troubles end.

But the cat came back the very next day.
The cat came back. We thought she was a goner
But the cat came back. She would not stay away.

Mr. Johnson knew a bachelor who was going on a cruise.
He convinced him that a cat would line the ladies up in queues.
Indeed the yellow cat had drawn a beauty to his flank
When the cruise ship hit an iceberg and it sank.

But the cat came back the very next day.
The cat came back. We thought she was a goner
But the cat came back. She would not stay away.

Mr. Johnson freed a mouse near a bottling machine.
The yellow cat chased it up the belt and in-between.
We could hear the tortured yowling round the corner from the shop.
For a week they made some fuzzy-tasting pop.

But the cat came back the very next day.
The cat came back. We thought she was a goner
But the cat came back. She would not stay away.

Mr. Johnson kept counting 'til he knew eight lives had passed.
He held on to the notion that the ninth would be the last.
He locked the cat inside a rocket which he shot to outer space.
The moon grew one new crater on its face.

But the cat came back the very next day.
The cat came back. We thought she was a goner
But the cat came back. She would not stay away.

Mr. Johnson cried out in frustration and despair.
He dreamed that night that his grandmama was there.
She said, "The cat must really love you. She refuses to depart!"
When Mr. Johnson woke he'd had a change of heart.

"I'll keep that cat," Mr. Johnson said.
"I'll keep that cat, since I cannot make her leave me.
I'll find a way to make her my pet instead."

But when he went to tell her, the yellow cat was gone.
For a week he couldn't find her in the house or on the lawn
But the day she finally showed up, she didn't come alone.
She brought seven yellow kittens of her own!

The cat came back, finally to stay.
The cat came back. Anybody want a kitten?
The cat came back. She would not stay away.
Track Name: Paws Claws Scales And Tales - Reprise
It's all about a bond of love!
Paws, claws, scales, and tails!

Paws, claws, scales, and

Curious George! Puss in Boots!
Curious George! Puss in Boots!

Clifford! Lyle!
Cli Cli Cli Clifford! Lyle!

Check out the story about the
Check out the story about

Paws, claws, scales, and tails!
Dig into a new adventure with beastly action.
Paws, claws, scales, and tails!
Get a book about a hero with animal attraction.
Your library never fails
To bring you paws, claws, scales, and
Paws, claws, scales, and
Paws, claws, scales, and incredible tales!

Paws, claws, scales, and tails! Paws, claws, scales, and tails!
Paws, claws, scales, and tails! Paws, claws, scales, and tails!
Everybody get a book to check out.

Paws, claws, scales, and tails! Paws, claws, scales, and tails!
Clifford! Lyle! Clifford! Lyle!
Paws, claws, scales, and incredible tales!