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The Great Green Squishy Mean Concert CD

by Monty Harper

supported by
Karl Reinsch
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1.
Loose Tooth 03:52
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I've got a loose tooth. I'm pretty sure for real that it's a loose tooth. Put your finger here and feel it. It's a loose tooth right here in the middle. You can tell it's really loose; I'll let you wiggle it a little. It's a loose tooth. I'm losing more and more. I've got a loose tooth. This is number four. I've got a loose tooth. I can't wait to surprise her when I tell my teacher: I'm losing an incisor! Did I show you my loose tooth? Did you see what it can do? I'll flip it back. Now look underneath. See there's a new tooth there. It's just barely peeking through. If it's not out quick, Mom'll pull the old string and doorknob trick. It'll make my grin look funny, but the Tooth Fairy's gonna show me the money for my loose tooth. I've got a loose tooth. I use my tongue to study it. A loose tooth! It tastes a little bloody. It's a loose tooth. I can twist it clear around. And when I push and pull it, I hear a squishy sound. I've got a loose tooth. I freak out all my friends. I've got a loose tooth. See me swing it like a pendulum. A loose tooth click clacking in my head! It could fall out any moment 'cause it's dangling by a thread. I say hello to Mrs. Corey in the cafeteria line. She says, "How's that loose tooth doing?" I say, "It's doing fine." But the "F" in "Fine" makes my loose tooth pop right out of my mouth like a shot. It flies across the counter and it lands in the chili pot! Now it's a lost tooth. Don't let it cause concern. It's just a lost tooth. If you find it please return it. It's a lost tooth. I'm pretty sure it won't attack, but I'm really really sorry if your chili bites you back! Did I show you my loose tooth? Well I lost it earlier today. Sure there's a new tooth coming in now, but there's a great big hole where the old one went away. I really miss that loose tooth and all the fun times we had. I guess that you can tell by now without that tooth I'm feeling really... I feel a little... I'm feeling kind of... Oh, wait a minute. Guess what! Another loose tooth! I'm pretty sure for real. Another loose tooth! Put your finger here and feel another loose tooth. It'll really bowl her over when I tell my teacher I'm gonna lose a molar! It's a loose tooth, and I'm getting so excited. It's a loose tooth, and it wiggles when I bite it. It's a loose tooth, just dancing in my gum, singing "Look out Tooth Fairy! Here I come!" Another loose tooth!
2.
The Great Green Squishy Mean Bibliovore 05:43
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In the ground they found a frozen dinosaur. They kept it hidden in a secret lab. The day had come the scientists were working for - the day to wake this dino from his nap! They threw the switches to their special laser beam. They did not see the bookworm on the lens. The dinosaur unraveled in a cloud of steam. When it cleared there was a startled creature blinking at them. He said, "Rrrr, I'm hungry! Didja hear that sound? That's my tummy! Don't give me no lines! Don't give me no looks! Don't feed me no lip! Just feed me books! 'Cause I'm a great green squishy mean bibliovore. I'm a cross between a bookworm and a dinosaur. You'd better feed me books or you will hear me roar! I'm a great green squishy mean bibliovore.” They fed him all the reference books they never used, but the monster still was hungry and escaped. He broke into an empty elementary school where he learned that spelling books cause belly aches. He gobbled up a bookmobile and belched out the wheels. He swallowed ten pay phone directories. Then his nostrils started twitching like he smelled a meal. That's when he burst in through the front door to the library! He said, "Rrrr, I'm hungry! Didja hear that sound? That's my tummy! Don't give me no lines! Don't give me no looks! Don't feed me no lip! Just feed me books! 'Cause I'm a great green squishy mean bibliovore. I'm a cross between a bookworm and a dinosaur. You'd better feed me books or you will hear me roar! I'm a great green squishy mean bibliovore.” He found himself a fiction shelf and started to feast. The librarian was quite surprised indeed! She grabbed him by the ear and made him take a seat. She said, "I think I'd better teach you how to read." The monster was a trifle smarter than he looked, so it took her very little time to teach him. And now he holds a whole new attitude toward books. Every day he reads another pile - and then he eats them! Today he makes a living writing book reviews. He chews the bad ones up voraciously. He loves to put the new words that he learns to use, so now he's speaking more loquaciously. He says, "Hmmm. I'm famished. Did you feel that vibration? That's my gastric cavity requesting bibliomastication! 'Cause I'm a great green squishy mean bibliovore. I'm a cross between a bookworm and a dinosaur. You'd better feed me books or you will hear me roar! I'm a great green squishy mean bibliovore. I'm a great green squishy mean bibliovore!"
3.
Silly Song 04:18
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It's just a Silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly song Silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly song I once sang this song to a zebra on the savanna, But I don't think he liked it much; he bonked me with a banana! It's just a Silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly song Silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly song I once sang this song to a skunk out in the woods, But I don't think he liked it much; now I don't smell so good! Everybody pinch your nose like this... It's just a Silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly song Silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly song I once sang this song to a great big hairy ape, But I don't think he liked it much; he shut my mouth with tape! Everybody tape your mouth shut. It's just a Silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly song Silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly song I once sang this song to a penguin and his cohorts, But I don't think they liked it much; they put wiggly fish down my shorts! Put a fish down your shorts and get wiggly! It's just a Silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly song Silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly song I once sang this song to a shark way out at sea, But you know what? I think he kind of liked it; he smiled as he swallowed me! Everybody grin really big like a well-fed shark. Let me see those shark teeth! It's just a Silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly song Silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly song One more time - This time we'll see how fast we can do it. It's just a Silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly song Silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly silly song
4.
Horny Toad 03:32
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Survivor from the age of the dinosaur, he's a horny toad. He's a cold-blooded horn-headed insectivore 'cause he's a horny toad. He's a squat round lizard with a spiny sense of style. People call him a toad, but he's a reptile. He's a horny toad, a little horny toad, horny toad. He's really rather shy and doesn't want you to see that he's a horny toad. That's why his color pattern blends with the scenery, that clever horny toad. You'll catch him scampering a bit, but then he stops and lies flat while your eyes keep moving, and - Hey, where's he at? He's a horny toad, a sneaky horny toad, horny toad. Pop up out of the ground. Get warm in the sun. Gobble harvester ants until the day is done. Now do the horny toad shake. Wiggle side to side. Dig down into the soil. It's a cozy way to hide 'til the morning time, when the sun will shine on the horny toad, the sleepy horny toad, horny toad. He'll try to make you think he's dead, acting so laid back, that tricky horny toad. He may warn you with a hiss if you try to make a snack out of the horny toad. He can puff himself up to unusual size. When he's really provoked he squirts blood from his eyes. He's a horny toad. Don't eat the horny toad, horny toad. Pop up out of the ground. Get warm in the sun. Gobble harvester ants until the summer is done. Do the Horny Toad Shake. Wiggle side to side. Dig down into the soil. It's a cozy way to hide through the winter snow. He'll be laying low cause he's a horny toad, a sleepy horny toad, horny toad. We used to find him all over in the arid loamy sand, the common horny toad. But now days fire ants and humans are encroaching on his land, endangered horny toad. So if you see him in his habitat, he'll thank you very much when you take a good look but don't touch! Mr. Horny Toad, protected horny toad, horny toad. He's a horny toad. He's a horny toad. Phrynosoma cornutum! He's a horny toad. He's a Texas Horned Lizard! He's a horny toad, horny toad.
5.
Hanging Out With Heroes At The Library 04:06
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It's a foot-stompin', rope-swingin' barrel of fun! There's something in a book for everyone to make your heart pound faster and your eyes pop out! It'll get you so riled up you just gotta shout. The hero of the story is the one you wanna be! I love hangin' out with heroes at the library! She’s got the wildest red hair, and her clothes are berserk. This teacher takes the mystery out of how things work. Her little lizard, Liz, always accompanies us on impossible trips on a magic school bus. Her hands-on approach gives science a sizzle. Take a field trip to the library with (audience:) Ms. Frizzle! It's a foot-stompin', rope-swingin' barrel of fun! There's something in a book for everyone to make your heart pound faster and your eyes pop out! It'll get you so riled up you just gotta shout. The hero of the story is the one you wanna be! I love hangin' out with heroes at the library! His muggle aunt and uncle made him feel outcast until he started to discover his mysterious past. He goes to Hogwart’s school for wizards and witches. On the quidditch team he’s a seeker of snitches. He took to that broom like a fish takes to water. Catch the magic at the library with (audience:) Harry Potter! It's a foot-stompin', rope-swingin' barrel of fun! There's something in a book for everyone to make your heart pound faster and your eyes pop out! It'll get you so riled up you just gotta shout. The hero of the story is the one you wanna be! I love hangin' out with heroes at the library! This diminutive detective always takes the case. He leaves a note for his mom, then he’s off on the chase. His cleaver dog, Sludge, helps him search for clues. At times he finds he’s stuck and doesn’t know what to do. That’s when a pancake snack sets him thinking straight. Solve a mystery at the library with (audience:) Nate the Great! It's a foot-stompin', rope-swingin' barrel of fun! There's something in a book for everyone to make your heart pound faster and your eyes pop out! It'll get you so riled up you just gotta shout. The hero of the story is the one you wanna be! I love hangin' out with heroes at the library! She was swept away from Kansas to the Land of Oz. She took the Yellow Brick Road to seek help because she was determined to return and faced many trials tryin’ with a scarecrow, a tin man, and a cowardly lion. I'll bet you if you ask old what’s her name? (audience:) Dorothy! she'd say, “There's really no place like the library!” It's a foot-stompin', rope-swingin' barrel of fun! There's something in a book for everyone to make your heart pound faster and your eyes pop out! It'll get you so riled up you just gotta shout. The hero of the story is the one you wanna be! I love hangin' out with heroes at the library! If you're lookin' for me let me tell you where I'll be. I'll be hanging out with heroes at the library. I've got to shout about it from the top of every tree! I love hanging out with heroes at the library!
6.
Pop-Up / Sit Down 03:54
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There’s a song playing way up in my head. I can feel it working down in my toes. I sing it out loud when I’m awake. I snore it softly when I doze. Whenever I think it’s about to shrink It grows and grows and grows. This song may never stop. This is how it always goes... Pop up. Sit down. Pop up. Sit down. Pop up, sit down. Pop up, sit down. Now wiggle around. Now don’t make a sound. Well it never goes away in the middle of the day, And it lulls me to sleep at night. It bounces me around when my feet are on the ground, And lifts me to a dizzying height. Sometimes it helps me feel laid back and loose While the rest of the world is uptight. You can sing along and you won’t go wrong Because any way you sing it is right! Pop up. Sit down. Pop up. Sit down. Pop up, sit down. Pop up, sit down. Now wiggle around. Now don’t make a sound. This is a song about opposites. I know you knew the same. It doesn’t take a lot of work To play the opposite game. If I say “Stop,” you say, (audience:) “Go.” If I say “Fast,” you say, (audience:) “Slow.” If I say “Yes,” you say, (audience:) “No.” If I say “Goodbye,” you say, (audience:) “Hello.” Pop up. Sit down. Pop up. Sit down. Pop up, sit down. Pop up, sit down. Now wiggle around. Now don’t make a sound.
7.
Love This Baby 02:56
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I have a little baby. She likes to suck her toes. She sticks her little fingers right up her daddy's nose. When she gets a new tooth, she chews her dad's blue scarf. And when she gets the flu bug she splatters Dad with... Love, love, love! How I love this baby! I don't wait for the sun to shine; I love this baby all the time. Baby's hands are lightning; they're striking everywhere. She snatches Daddy's glasses. She yanks her daddy's hair. Now Baby's nose is running. Her Daddy's on the spot. But Baby grabs the tissue and smacks her dad with... Love, love, love! How I love this baby! I don't wait for the sun to shine; I love this baby all the time. She can be a laughy taffy tickle full of giggles, But love means more than that to me. She can be a rosy cozy kitten full of cuddles, But love means much more than that to me. Love is 24 - 7 all her years. Even when her temper is a thunderstorm of tears. Baby loves bananas, and Baby gets well fed. Then Baby starts to concentrate, and soon her face turns red. The air becomes so toxic our house plants start to droop! Baby gets her diaper changed and Daddy gets the... Love, love, love! How I love this baby! I don't wait for the sun to shine; I love this baby all the time. I don't wait for the sun to shine; I love this baby all the time.
8.
The Frog Song 04:02
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He said, “I love you.” (audience:) Yeah, right! He said, “I love you.” (audience:) Yeah, right! He said, “I love you.” (audience:) Yeah, right! “I love you like I never loved nobody before.” He gazed into that little frog’s eyes, and he said, “I hope you’ll always be mine!” And then he kissed her. (audience:) Ew, yuck! And then he kissed her. (audience:) Ew, yuck! And then he kissed her. (audience:) Ew, yuck! He kissed her like he never kissed nobody before. He kissed that froggy right on the lips, and she turned into a beautiful princess. But she shoved him! (audience:) Back off! But she shoved him! (audience:) Back off! But she shoved him! (audience:) Back off! She shoved him like he’d never been shoved before. She said, “How dare you kiss me, you dirty dog! I’d rather have always been a frog!” And then she left him. She said, (audience:) “Goodbye!” And then she left him. She said, (audience:) “Goodbye!” And then she left him. She said, (audience:) “Goodbye!” She left him like he’d never been left before, and as he watched his princess hop away he began to sniffle; it’s embarrassing to say. He cried his eyes out. (audience:) Boo hoo! He cried his eyes out. (audience:) Boo hoo! He cried his eyes out. (audience:) Boo hoo! He cried his eyes out like he’d never cried for no one before, but then he stopped, and he said, “Man, why should I cry? I’ll bet that princess still eats flies!” And he went searching. (audience:) Yoo hoo! And he went searching. (audience:) Yoo hoo! And he went searching. (audience:) Yoo hoo! Searching like he’d never searched for nothing before, he was looking for another frog to kiss so he could try his luck with another princess. And then he found one. (audience:) Hello! And then he found one. (audience:) Hello! And then he found one. (audience:) Hello! He found another frog more beautiful than any before. He said, “Pardon me if I could be so bold, but there’s something that I’m feeling and it’s got to be told!” He said, “I love you!” (audience:) Yeah, right! He said, “I love you!” (audience:) Yeah, right! and then he kissed her, (audience:) Ew, yuck and then he kissed her, (audience:) Ew, yuck so she shoved him, (audience:) Back off! so she shoved him, (audience:) Back off! and then she left him. (audience:) Goodbye! and then she left him. (audience:) Goodbye! He cried his eyes out, (audience:) Boo hoo! He cried his eyes out, (audience:) Boo hoo! and he went searching. (audience:) Yoo hoo! and he went searching. (audience:) Yoo hoo! He found another. (audience:) Hello! He found another. (audience:) Hello! He said “I love you!” (audience:) Yeah, right! He said “I love you!” (audience:) Yeah, right! Well, this went on for a dozen weeks until he finally found princess that he wanted to keep. She was a wonderful frog, so he left her that way. They’re still together to this very day!
9.
You're A Dinosaur 04:53
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Let me hear you roar 'cause you're a dinosaur! You're munching on the greenery when a stranger blocks the scenery - A rival ceratopsid gone astray. You defend your territory with a three-horned flash of glory. You shake your mighty frill and chase that challenger away. Do the Triceratops Bop. Do the Triceratops Bop. Shake your frilly top. Make the other guy stop with the Triceratops Bop. Now let me hear you roar 'cause you're a dinosaur! You found a choice location for some rest and relaxation. Your boney plates are warming in the sun. When an allasaur spies you, and tries to terrorize you, You swing your spiky tail and put that bully on the run! You do the Stegosaur Swing. You do the Stegosaur Swing. It's your defensive thing. Give that villain a sting With the Stegosaur Swing. Do the Triceratops Bop. Now let me hear you roar 'cause you're a dinosaur! When a fellow duckbill shows up, you puff your wrinkly nose up And toot a friendly greeting for his ear. And if you see Tyrannosaurus, you both sing out in chorus To let the other duckbills know a predator is near. You do the Hadrosaur Hoot. You do the Hadrosaur Hoot. Just inflate your snoot, and give a mighty toot. That's the Hadrosaur Hoot. Now do the Stegosaur Swing. Do the Triceratops bop. And let me hear you roar, cause you're a dinosaur! Now you've eaten all the leaves up, but your hunger doesn't ease up. You stretch your lengthy neck to find a treat. But there's nothing left to plunder, so your feet begin to thunder. Migration's under way to find another place to eat. You do the Seismosaur Stomp. You do the Seismosaur Stomp. Over field and swamp, with your troop you tromp. You do the Seismosaur Stomp. Now do the Hadrosaur Hoot. And do the Stegosaur Swing. Do the Triceratops Bop. And let me hear you roar 'cause you're a dinosaur! Now you feel a bit rapacious. You could eat the whole Cretaceous. Your nostrils put you eagerly on track. You sneak up through the flora on some tasty dinosaur and Then you thrust your muzzle forward and you snag yourself a snack. Do the Tyrannosaur Crunch. Do the Tyrannosaur Crunch. Sniff out a little lunch. Grab a critter to munch With your Tyrannosaur Crunch. Now do the Seismosaur Stomp, And do the Hadrosaur Hoot, And do the Stegosaur Swing. Do the Triceratops Bop. And let me hear you roar 'cause you're a dinosaur! They say the dinosaurs are dead and gone, But I think maybe just a few do live on... I don't know but I'm pretty sure I've seen them stomp and I've heard them roar. I've seen them dancing all over this floor, Doing the Tyrannosaur Crunch, And the Seismosaur Stomp, And the Hadrosaur Hoot, And the Stegosaur Swing, And the Triceratops Bop! Now let me hear you roar 'cause you're a dinosaur!
10.
Big Red Fire Truck 03:48
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My name is Quint, And when the fire bells ring I'm the rig that's ready - Ready for anything! See me fly through turns. See my ladder sway. Hear my siren scream, "Get out of my way!" I'm a big red fire truck. I save lives. That's what I do. I'm a big red fire truck. See me race to the rescue! See me race to the rescue! See my ladder go up. See the people climb down. I get them out of the smoke. I put them safe on the ground. See my tank and my hose Making water spout. I gotta keep that pressure pumpin' 'til the flame goes out. I'm a big red fire truck. I save lives. That's what I do. I'm a big red fire truck. See me race to the rescue! See me race to the rescue! Back at the station Hang my lines out to dry. I've got to stay ready 'Til the bell rings again and then you'll see me fly! I'm a big red fire truck. I save lives. That's what I do. I'm a big red fire truck. See me race to the rescue! See me race to the rescue! I'm a big red fire truck!
11.
Trick or Treat, Smell My Feet 04:03
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It was very late one Halloween night, after all the trick-or-treaters were sound asleep. I thought I heard a knock on my front door, so I snuggled down deeper into my sheets. The knock kept knocking, louder and louder. Finally it knocked me wide awake. I tumbled downstairs to see what was the matter, yelled, "What do you want, for goodness sake?" and heard, "Trick or treat, smell my feet. Give me something good to eat. If you don't, I won't be sad. I'll just make you wish you had!" It was a tiny old troll with a long white beard, a pointy red hat, and a crooked grin. I said, "Listen kid, that's a really cute costume, but I ran out of candy at half-past ten." I slammed the door and I locked all the latches, took two aspirin for my aching head, went back upstairs and was startled to discover that rude little troll sitting on my bed! He said, "Trick or treat, smell my feet. Give me something good to eat. If you don't, I won't be sad. I'll just make you wish you had!" I decided to find out who was in the costume. I pinned him down and yanked his beard. The troll cried "Ouch!" and ran into a corner. He hopped three times and disappeared. I woke the next morning happily believing that the funny little troll was only a dream. I turned on the TV, and guess who I saw singing in his pointy red hat on channel three? He sang, "Trick or treat, smell my feet. Give me something good to eat. If you don't, I won't be sad. I'll just make you wish you had!" I flipped around through all the different channels. Every single one was Troll TV. I pulled the plug, but that was only the beginning. All week long the troll pestered me. He kept popping up in the least likely places. Twenty three times I chased him away. His crooked little grin was driving me crazy. By now you know all he had to say was "Trick or treat, smell my feet. Give me something good to eat. If you don't, I won't be sad. I'll just make you wish you had!" Finally I did the only thing that I could think of. I bought a half-pound bag of sweets. That day the troll was hiding in my bathtub when I found him and gave him his trick-or-treat. He tucked the candy underneath his hat, then he hopped three times and disappeared. And though he never did come back, I still dream about the troll with the long white beard! "Trick or treat, smell my feet. Give me something good to eat. If you don't, I won't be sad. I'll just make you wish you had!"
12.
The Legend of Old Rip 03:35
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Who stole the show at the courthouse dedication? Whose sad strange fate was well-observed by all? Who was the town-folks' gift to a future generation? Who found himself enshrined in the courthouse wall? Old Rip, named for Rip Van Winkle, Took a nap in that cornerstone. For thirty one years he was sealed inside it. For thirty one years he was all alone, all alone. Old Rip, Old Rip the horny toad. Old Rip, Old Rip the horny toad. Who dangled like a leaf when the stone was opened? What icon did not seem to have survived? Then who twisted 'round and heard three thousand voices? Shouting out, "He's alive, yes he's alive!" Old Rip, named for Rip Van Winkle, Took a nap in that cornerstone. For thirty one years he was sealed inside it. For thirty one years he was all alone. Some folk claim it was merely a joke, A sleight of hand, meant to deceive. Some folk call Rip's revival a hoax, But me and Eastland, Texas - we believe! Who toured this land from Dallas to St. Louis? Who met President Coolidge eye to eye? Who rests in peace at the Eastland County Courthouse? Who reminds us we can triumph if we try? Old Rip, named for Rip Van Winkle, Took a nap in that cornerstone. For thirty one years he was sealed inside it. For thirty one years he was all alone, all alone. Old Rip, Old Rip the horny toad. Old Rip, Old Rip the horny toad. Old Rip, Old Rip, Old Rip, Old Rip, Old Rip, Old Rip, Old Rip, Old Rip, Old Rip, Old Rip, Old Rip, Old Rip, Old Rip, Old Rip, Old Rip, Old Rip, Old Rip! Old Rip, Old Rip the horny toad!
13.
Can It Be Over? 02:49
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Now the time has come for singing one last little song. Can it be over? Can it be over? We've had such a lovely time I hate to move along. How can it be over so soon? Everybody take a big deep breath and heave a sigh. Turn to your new friends and say goodbye. (Goodbye!) This is our last chance to hear each other clap and sing. Can it be over? Can it be over? One more time before we go we'll make the rafters ring. How can it be over so soon? Everybody take a big deep breath and heave a sigh. Turn to your new friends and say goodbye. (Goodbye!) Now even this last song is very close to being done. Can it be over? Can it be over? Now it's time for me to say So long, and It's been fun. Can it be over? Can it be over? How can it be over so soon?

about

Ride that firetruck. Smell that diaper. Wiggle that tooth. Trick and treat. Dance like a dinosaur. Kiss a frog. Catch a horny toad. Don't play this CD; Devour it. It's an interactive LIVE silly rock'n kid fest.

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released January 1, 2005

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Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.

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Monty Harper Stillwater, Oklahoma

Monty Harper is a children's musician in Stillwater, OK. He performs for elementary schools and libraries, helps kids write their own songs in workshops and residencies, does informal science education, and writes songs for clients.

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